The Measure of Love

How do you measure love? In today’s world it’s often measured using material things as a ruler. But that’s not really love. It’s artificial. No, I’m not an expert on love, but I do know a thing or two about giving and receiving love.

The one thing I’ve learned about love over the years is that it’s more about the “doing” than the “saying”. In other words, it’s an action word.

I have recently had the opportunity to witness an overwhelming expression of love in action between my sister and her husband. For the past several months my brother-in-law, Carl, has been on dialysis. I’ve watched as my sister, Jev, has not only been by her husband’s side, but has also changed her diet, work schedule, and overall routine to accommodate Carl’s needs.

When Carl’s doctor said he needed to be on a special diet, Jev went online and found tasty recipes and unique spices to cook with that the whole family would enjoy. When Carl wanted to have his dialysis treatments at home instead of the dialysis center, Jev changed her work schedule to go in at 5:30 AM, get off in the afternoon and attend training sessions for 6-8 hours a night. She learned how to place not one, but two needles in his vein, monitor his blood pressure, set up the dialysis machine, and keep his bleeding under control.

But this love and caring between Jev and Carl started years earlier. When they first started dating, Carl realized that Jev needed glasses but couldn’t afford them. He found an optometrist, set up the appointment, and paid for the exam and glasses. At the time I thought this was cute, but it was actually the beginning of more than twenty years of Carl and Jev taking care of each other.

I wouldn’t say Jev and Carl are lovey-dovey but I would say they are well past the “saying” stage of their relationship. What they have is built on a foundation of love. Through everything I know they have shared some tears, partnered in prayer, and shouldered individual worries. But every day they are putting their love into action and doing what often can't be said. They are a real example of love in action.